Sometimes, even I find it hard to believe that less than two years ago, I didn’t care a bit about Filipino Martial Arts. I didn’t care because I knew next to nothing about it. Sure, I knew that Arnis (as Filipino Martial Arts is popularly called here) was the Philippines’ “new” national sport replacing sipa, and that it used sticks as weapons. But that was it.
Now if you let me enumerate all the things I love, FMA would be easily included. It has helped me become fit and healthy and confident. It has introduced me to worlds that I never knew existed before.
FMA made me happy.
But somehow these past few weeks have been different. I seem to have lost the spark. The excitement and hunger diminished and the emotions were no longer raw. Whereas before, I looked forward to every training session, reveled in it, and then went home only to read and watch some more, now even my FMA Facebook remain mostly closed. I’m bored, uninterested, and tired.
My rational mind labels this weariness as burnout.
:the condition of someone who has become very physically and emotionally tired after doing a job for a long time (Merriam-Webster)
Well, although my case is probably mild, I know that that’s what I have. And because I know the diagnosis, I also know the cure.
I. need. a. break.
That’s why my sticks and blades quietly rest in their cases now.
In the meantime, I rest, run, and do strengthening exercises. Sometimes though, when I do arm exercises I long for my weapons…
But the longing is not enough to make me take them out of their cases. Not now, not yet.
I’m on vacation.
I’m sure I’ll eventually come back.
But for now, I rest.